How to Be a Parent During a Divorce or Separation

If you are dealing with a divorce or separation, you may be worried about the welfare of your children. How will they handle the process? Will divorce affect them--emotionally, physically or mentally? The truth is, divorce will probably have an impact on your children, but fortunately, there are ways that you can protect them throughout the process. Your children will successfully come out of the life-changing experience if you keep the best interests of your children in mind.

Manage your actions and emotions

First, it is important to watch your actions. Your children might mimic the actions or feelings you reveal within the process. If you are angry, upset or frustrated, try not to overreact. Your children might emulate these same expressions.

Do not vent to your child, and let your feelings out in other ways. If you have friends, therapists or even a loving pet, talk to them. Exercise can also be a healthy outlet for relieving steam.

Keep a routine

Children are most adaptable if they have a steady routine on which they can rely. The fewer interruptions from their everyday routine, the easier it will be for your kids to adapt to the situation.

With this, it is important to maintain rules (homework issues, curfews and off-limit activities). Do not let up on parenting just because your relationship is ending. You will be your child's biggest advocate if you continue to enforce appropriate behavior. Do not bend the rules in an attempt to win them over or make their transition easier. You should continue to discipline them, following systems of consequences for broken rules. This will keep them stabilized and help them stay focused at school and other commitments.

Do not put your kids in the middle of your divorce dispute

Specifically, you should not use your children as messengers. If you have a child tell the other parent something, the child becomes part of the conflict, which might result in additional stress.

Similarly, do not bring the dispute out into the open. Avoid saying negative things about your ex to your children. If you do so, you are only putting pressure on them. It leads them to believe that they have to make a choice of one parent over the other. Your child has a right to a relationship with the other parent that is free of your influence.

Parenting plans

It can be difficult to parent as you deal with the stressful repercussions of divorce or separation. However, if you are amicable with your ex, you can work together to make your children's experience easier. Furthermore, addressing such issues collaboratively can aid in the development of a successful parenting plan after divorce.

A parenting plan spells out the terms and conditions of custody and visitation when parents end their marriage. The plan allows parents to avoid conflict that derives from divorce and interferes with childrearing. Without explicit agreements about these responsibilities, disputes often arise, and costly litigation may be the result.

If you are confronting a divorce or separation, you may want to speak with a qualified family law attorney about your children and collaborative parenting plan.

Article provided by Tamara K. Holden PA
Visit us at www.floridadivorcelawyer4u.com


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